Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Worried about Women's Rights

I am deeply concerned about the systematic tearing down of women's rights in every aspect of our society today. If you know your history, you know women used to be property of their fathers and husbands and were not allowed to work or own property. When the man of the house died, if there was no male heir, the women would be thrown on the streets and all of their assets taken by distant male relatives. Women have made great strides over the past century.  We can work, own property, and there are laws that protect us from domestic violence.  But our hold on these rights is becoming more and more fragile. Women are rapidly losing our very basic rights.


I say there is a systematic stripping down of women's right for these reasons:

  • Legislation against Women
  • Increase in number of women murdered by their partners
  • Incidences of campus rape of women that are hidden and not reported
  • Video games that portray women as only background Decoration or victims
  • Over sexualization of women in the media


I want to keep this short...and if possible free of animosity from me or readers.  I am the mother of two beautiful, educated, accomplished daughters I am very proud of, and a bright, young, compassionate son who lights up my world. I do not hate men. (I'm in love with a really amazing guy right now!)  This is not a case of hatred...or intolerance.  It is a blog for us all to open our eyes and our hearts to understand the issues and start taking steps to affect change.  We cannot go backward.  There are so may articles and videos on the internet on these topics.  I have posted some below, but want to support my opinions.  

Legislation against Women
Politicians are fighting like never before to strip women of the right to make medical decisions about their bodies, and I am not just talking about the abortion issue. Laws have been passed in several states lately that deprive women of birth control, maternity leave and legal rights. In 2011 there were 1,000 bills in state legislatures to restrict a woman’s right to legal abortion services, and many others to deny birth control! While I personally do not advocate abortion, I do not believe it is my right to control another human being, who would ultimately be responsible for raising and nurturing that child.If there were better, more effective means of birth control, and more education for men and women, there would be less pregnancies, thus fewer abortions. No one seems to be looking at unwanted pregnancies caused by abuse or rape. In 2012, 346,830 women were raped. According to medical reports, the incidence of pregnancy for one-time unprotected sexual intercourse is 5%. By applying the pregnancy rate to 346,830 female survivors, RAINN estimates that there were 17,342 pregnancies as a result of rape in 2012. 


Increase in number of women murdered by their partners
It is deplorable that women are still seen as property of men, and that many  men, even today, feel they have the power and right to take their wife's or girlfriends life for any reason at all. According to the American Psychology Association, every day three or  more women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands.
Washington Post:  "...more than 1,000 women were killed by their partners in 2005, and of all the women murdered in the United States, about a third are killed by a husband or boyfriend. A leading cause of death for pregnant women? Murder by a partner." 
Incidences of campus rape of women 
Statistics are that 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted on college campuses in the US and on 1 % of the attackers are never punished. Less than 1/3 of them are expelled. Many incidences of rape go unreported. MotherJones' article provide many alarming statistics.

The reality  is that Victims of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder; 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol; 26 times more likely to abuse drugs and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. And these victims will be the mothers of our future generations struggling to  meet the rigorous emotional demands of parenting.
This RAINN article discloses heartbreaking statistics about rape and sexual abuse of women and children from 1995 - 2001.  The facts are if a woman is lucky enough not to be sexually abused by someone in her household, she still has to protect herself from assaults at a college or in her marriage!! Why is this the norm? How is this still an issue in 2015?? Why is there a prevalent rape culture in our society?

Rape and Sexual AssaultVictimization Among College-AgeFemales, 1995–2013

Video games that portray women as only background Decoration or victims
I am a Site Director for Pre-k programs in an urban school system, and recently earned my 6th year Degree (2nd Master Degree) in Instructional Technology and Digital Media Literacy. I can see first hand the affects that violent video games have on the behaviors of young children.  We  have 3 and 4 year olds who are playing Modern Warfare and  Grand Theft Auto! At a time when a child's brain is the most pliable and growing at the most rapid rate of the child's entire life, their personalities are being shaped by acts of violence that they are participating in virtually. For an adult, this would have minor implications.  But in a child this young, who does not have a well developed sense of empathy, moral character or socialization, this is detrimental. 

Watch some young kids play video games. In particular, watch for the roles of women. Very few women are the main characters, but instead are the victims in any given scene.  There's a woman being beaten in an alley, there's a female prostitute coming on to the male lead character, there's a woman being murdered. In some games the player has to choose between saving the woman, and therefor losing points/time, OR choosing to ignore the crime to win the game.  Players make this decision hundreds of times in their game play. Do you think this does not have any implication in real life?  Then watch this video: FIGHT AT NW HS

Notice not one male student intervened while a HS boy beats a girl in the school hallway. WHY? They have been conditioned not to.

Gaming Feminist Activist Anita Sarkeesian created an amazing video showing how  female characters in video games are over sexualized and used as background decorations or victims. because of her video series Tropes vs Women, she received death threats and at one point had to flee her home due to threats and stalkers. See Joe Beekamn's full article: Women as Background Decoration

Over sexualization of women in the media and society

Lastly, the cultural over sexualization of women is creating situations where younger and younger women are putting themselves in harms way by creating very sexy videos and posting them, and sexy selfies on social media. Females of all ages, pre-teens to sixties, are feeling the pressure of having to be sexy and beautiful, showing it all, waxing, botoxing, implanting, posing, posting, exposing themselves sexually and emotionally to a world that is NOT looking out for their best interest. Girls are having sex too early, when their minds and bodies are not ready. Males of all ages are not being taught about consent, or even how to be respectful to women.  

This total breakdown of respect is evident every day in the smallest of incidences from  not holding a door open, or not letting people get OFF the elevator before you try to shove onto it... to rape and violence. Several years ago I was in my car at a traffic light.  A young man walked in front of my car, grabbed his crotch and flicked his tongue out at me. ok. Whatever... right?  Flash forward a few more years. I'm a young mom with my two precious, 4 and 7 year old daughters in the back of my car in a store parking lot.  An older man is walking toward his truck parked next to us.  I was in the process of getting out of the car when I saw him look at my daughters and flick his tongue out at them in that same, very sexual way. If I owned a gun... you fill in the blanks. 

This was during the same time I stopped shopping at Kohl's, the only department store in our town, because all of the clothing for young girls was provocative, undersized and what I referred to as Hootchie Momma clothing.  Why would I dress my 4 year old daughter like a street walker for pre-k?? Our little pre-k students sit on the rug for circle time with their jeans cut too low to cover their rear ends.  So the sexualization of women starts very young through fashion, through media, TV shows and video games. There is not one show on TV that acts as a role model for families on respect, relationships, or empathy. Sarcasm, digs, violence, disasters reign supreme in all forms of media.

Your thinking... STOP COMPLAINING AND DO SOMETHING...right??
So here...I've posted this blog.  Please read the articles linked in it. Watch the videos. Share this.  Talk to your sons and daughters about sex, about consent, about birth control, about being leaders - not followers. Be Bigger, Kinder, Stronger, Wiser. Listen, watch...pay attention, be involved in their lives. Know where your sons and daughters are, who they are with, what they're doing. Talk to them about what happens at schools.  Advocate for your children at school. Make sure there are policies in place that protect your children. Pay attention to bills being proposed in your town, contact your legislators about important issues. Bills are being passed weekly...do you know what they are about? Teach your daughters it's ok to say NO, and teach your sons No means NO!  Start when they are young.

I am concerned about our future, and hope other women will start to see that we need to put our foot down, and take up the fight our "foremothers" started.


  • Start at home by monitoring and approving the video games your children buy, watch them play and talk about anything that you think is inappropriate. I've been known to pop a game out and snap it in half mid play. 
  • DO NOT allow children under 5 play non-educational video games. (try Minecraft instead)
  • Don't leave the TV and video games to babysit your kids. 
  • Know who your kids are on social media with...again talk about it. 
  • Talk to your sons about CONSENT. No means no. Ask.
  • Teach your daughters how to keep themselves safe.
  • Read articles, stay informed, get involved, advocate, speak up.Your voice could make all the difference.


Additional resources:
Emma Watson Speaks to UN
Chimanda Ngozi Adichie on Feminism

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